Chix-a-lot week: Meet my evil bathtub

Well, she’s gone and done it. My mean mama has given me a bath in my new bathtub.

I had high hopes for this new house, but it turns out my new bathtub is just as evil as my old bathtub. Maybe even more evil because there’s a snake that spits water, and mama can hold it in her hand and make it spit at me. If it isn’t obvious just from me typing about it, I hate that snake.

Mama says the snake helps me get her get the dirt off my belly. I like the dirt just fine where it is, but I guess my evil mama prefers me to be as white as can be. Look at all the dirt in the bathtub. I worked hard to adhere it to myself, and she just ran it off into the water with her evil soap and her evil snake.

Maybe the worst think about taking a bath is that it reveals my top secret superhero spots that I work very hard to keep hidden from the world. They are the source of all my powers, and I swear they are weakened if everybody sees them. Just look at my secret ear spots and my leg spots — you’re not supposed to be able to see those!

Ok, but I have to admit. When the evil bath is over, one of my favorite things happens. Mama lifts me out of the bathtub and snuggles me up in a big soft towel. She rubs me all over and then lets me wear the towel like I’m Yoda. I kind of love it, but I pretend I’m still mad at her because I want her to know how much I hate bathtime.

And then another good thing happens. A long time ago mama and I made a deal — I will give her one bath of good behavior in exchange for one high-quality rawhide chew, payable upon completion of the evil bath. Here I am waiting with my payment by the back door to go out and chew it in the sunshine.

I would never, ever, ever say that it’s worth it, but I sure do love those rawhide chews in the sunshine.

I hope everybody is having a good week and steering clear of those evil bathtubs and the evil spitting snakes!

 

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27 responses

  1. Mine feel the same, Zoe LOVES the rub down after the bath, Cai just thinks it’s evil. Glad you are in your new home. Have a happy Thanksgiving!

  2. Chick, it was very brave of you to break in the new bathtub. And I’m sure your super power spots will always protect you from the evil spitting snake.

    But you need to educate your mama about the purpose of the soap dish. It’s just the right size to hold peanut butter in place for a wet dog. Just saying…

  3. Pingback: Pup links! « Doggerel

  4. You and Sam are alike – Sam hates the evil hose monster (his baths are out in the back yard for the whole world to see) and he wants payment in exchange for being good!

    Sam

  5. I’m cracking up and my entire office (non dog obsessed) probably think I’m crazy. Thanks for the morning laughs Chick! Adorable.

  6. Chick, you are just too cute for words! I love your “secret” spots – my Chloe has them too. They’re why she is “Super Chloe”. Tell mama she takes great pictures!

  7. Aw, Yoda.

    I remember asking you about those spots when I painted Chick – in the end, I opted against them, since his gleaming white coat is so, so spectacular.

    Jackie Boy has an ear infection right now (sad), so in exchange for his globby ear goo, he receives a dehydrated chicken stick. He looks as happy as Chick in the photo where he waits by the back door!

  8. Aww, poor Chick! IF it’s any consolation, you look extremely handsome all clean and shiny like that! And I don’t think your super-hero-ness is depleted in the least.

    P.S. Dude, my MOM wrote this! Because I don’t go around calling other boy dogs handsome.
    Happy Thanksgiving early, from your pal Tucker

  9. Mama is so evil, Sir Chix, that she bathed you in a PINK bathroom! What sort of coloured bathroom is that for a handsome boy dog such as yourself? Anouk and Ziggy are with you on baths. I, however, want to invest in an evil snake.

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