Well, she’s gone and done it. My mean mama has given me a bath in my new bathtub.
I had high hopes for this new house, but it turns out my new bathtub is just as evil as my old bathtub. Maybe even more evil because there’s a snake that spits water, and mama can hold it in her hand and make it spit at me. If it isn’t obvious just from me typing about it, I hate that snake.
Mama says the snake helps me get her get the dirt off my belly. I like the dirt just fine where it is, but I guess my evil mama prefers me to be as white as can be. Look at all the dirt in the bathtub. I worked hard to adhere it to myself, and she just ran it off into the water with her evil soap and her evil snake.
Maybe the worst think about taking a bath is that it reveals my top secret superhero spots that I work very hard to keep hidden from the world. They are the source of all my powers, and I swear they are weakened if everybody sees them. Just look at my secret ear spots and my leg spots — you’re not supposed to be able to see those!
Ok, but I have to admit. When the evil bath is over, one of my favorite things happens. Mama lifts me out of the bathtub and snuggles me up in a big soft towel. She rubs me all over and then lets me wear the towel like I’m Yoda. I kind of love it, but I pretend I’m still mad at her because I want her to know how much I hate bathtime.
And then another good thing happens. A long time ago mama and I made a deal — I will give her one bath of good behavior in exchange for one high-quality rawhide chew, payable upon completion of the evil bath. Here I am waiting with my payment by the back door to go out and chew it in the sunshine.
I would never, ever, ever say that it’s worth it, but I sure do love those rawhide chews in the sunshine.
I hope everybody is having a good week and steering clear of those evil bathtubs and the evil spitting snakes!