Dear Doodlebug is my favorite day of the week! It’s the day I get to exercise my giant doodle-brain and give you all of the advices you’ve ever wanted to hear! And this week I got a new picture-poster! Do you like it?

Anyhow, many important questionings in today’s post, so let’s get right to it!

Hi Doodlebug. On walks, I like to pick up and taste or eat almost everything. Flower petals, leaves, small sticks, berries, nuts. I also like to lick grass or bushes. Dad has given up on me. Mom is still quite a nag with constant, ‘leave it’ or ‘drop it’. She gets confused about the commands and I get confused too. Guess she doesn’t like cleaning up my yellow foamy puke when we get back home. Your brilliant help is much awaited. Cole, the short-legged poodle

Dear Dust Buster,

Firstly, have you found any especially scrumptious berries, sticks, flowers, or nuts that I should be looking out for on MY dog walks? I am still allergenic with berries and nuts, actually, so I am only looking for flower and stick recommendations right now. And grasses and bushes are ok, too. 

My first advices to you are to ask your momma and dad whether they have ever really taught you what “leave it” and “drop it” mean. For a dog to really want to do that, they have to think it’s a good deal. Like, momma says “leave it” and if I do leave it, I get something even better. This is the way we were taught it. It turns out we don’t ALWAYS get something better, but pretty often we do, so it’s worth the gamblings (not that I recommend gamblings, which are illegal for dogs).

My second advices are that maybe you could learn the difference between a sniffing and salad bar kind of walking and an exercise-only kind of walking? When we go walking, we know that we are on a business trip (and by business I don’t mean business, I mean exercise). Mama tells us “free” when it’s time to sniff, pee, and snack, and that’s when we do those things. This keeps us pretty well out of trouble.

My final advices to you would be that maybe you could get a pair of stilts? I am not an overly tall dog, but I am taller than a short poodle, and I wonder if it’s easier for me to resist the ground-candy because my sniffer is higher off the ground. So maybe try stilts and let me know how it goes!

XO, the tallest Doodlebug you know

Dear Doodlebug, I like to chew things.  I’ve destuffed all my soft toys, I’ve performed many a squeakerectomy, I’ve shredded my rope toys and I’ve even nibbled all my kongs down to little nubs.  I’ve heard about these lovely things called antlers though and was curious what you knew about them?  Do you think they could stand up to my serious chewings?  Have you heard anything bads about them breaking off and getting all swallowed up?  I’d love if you could give me some of your advices! Woofs and Kisses, Dottie Mae

Dear Chewbacca,

Wow, you really are a most excellent chewer! I can do good chewings too, but I have never nubbed up a kong yet. I did manage to turn a Bob-A-Lot into an abstract yard art installation once, and I have also turned a football into four quarter-footballs. And as you may have read in a previous week, my brother also is a most wonderful chewer, but his art specializes in chewing holes in my mama’s pockets when they smell like treats. He is one clever Chicken!

Anyhow, yes, I am aware of the magic antler, and I do love it! In case you don’t believe me, I have illustrated my antler lovingness with the photo above. What I am chewing on these days is a split antler, which is better for beginners or those dogs who are a little less motivated to reallyreally work for their yummables. I am willing to work pretty hard, but this split antler keeps me plenty busy and I haven’t made much progress on it. The whole antlers, which are NOT split into halves, are even tougher! 

There are some good things about antlers that are not shared by rawhides and other chewable yums. Antlers are all natural, they do not splinter or split, they do not smell offensively to the Humans, and they are delicious! Naturally, your mama will want to take your antler away and replace it with a new one when it gets to swallowing smallness, but that goes for any treat. I have heard of a dog or two in my day who can get to the very bottom of an antler, but let me tell you: that dog is not me. So I say, go for it, and let us know what you think!

Love, Your Semi-Chewer

Dear Dude-oodle-bug,  I would like to know how you made your foster home turn into your forever home.  Do you have a magic potion?  If so, can I have the recipe for it?  You see, I’m a foster dog, but I love my foster home and I would like to stay in my foster home forever and make it a forever home.  BUT, if you can’t give me your secret to making a foster home a forever home, can you give me some of your advices on making sure I get a great forever home that’s just exactly like my foster home?  Yours ever so truly, Sophie Sofa Snuggles, foster sister of the Corbin

Dear Sophie-who-is-now-adopted,

I don’t know whether it’s a good thing or a bad thing that I didn’t get to your question until after you cleverly figured out the answer for yourself — congrats on being adopted by a perfect home, just as perfect as Corbin’s!

Since I can no longer give you for-reals advices since you have brainiacked your way through this problem on your own, I will just tell you how *I* got myself adopted by my foster peoples. The first thing is to super-woo your foster siblings. Here is me working my magics on my Chicken after only a few days together. I got him to help me learn how to crate myself!

Now, this might be less of a big deal for some forever-family-elects, but as you probably know, my brother the Chick is quite grumpy, and although he tolerates many dogs, he does not *love* most dogs. The only other dog he has fostered who he really loved was Curious Georgia, and lucky for me and MY forever-home chances, they did not keep her because she lived with them just before they moved cross-country.

My people look for a few different things in dog-dog compatibility when deciding who is a good fit and who isn’t. They want us to get along swimmingly, of course, but they want us to get along calmly. They would not keep a foster, for example, who inspires my Chicken to run around like a crazydog doing zoomies, wrestling, and getting into troubles all the time. One key to their sanity, they say, is a calm dog-vibe in the house. So they prefer dog-dog matches where the two dogs are fine with each other’s company but can easily coexist without interacting all the time. Check and check.

The other big factor in my getting myself so adopted so quickly, of course, was that I gave them my big brown baby-eyes. Once I showed those to them, I knew it was all over — and so did they.

Admit it — you would keep me too, wouldn’t you?

Best of luck in your new home, Sophie!

XO, your fellow adopted-bull, Doodlebug

Dear Doodlebug, I am a Master of Trickery but I have a problem that hurts my brain.  Momma says I am an Overly Social Butterfly.  When Momma and Daddy get home, I let them ignore my adorable wiggly butt until I glue it to the floor to tell them I am ready for pettings. But when my human friends visit, Momma and Daddy ask them to not say hi or give me pettings until I stop talking and my wiggly butt hits the ground.  As a fellow Master of Trickery, will you help me think of a plot to trickery my way out of this rule? -Gambit of the Couches

Well Mr. Couch Surfer, Here’s the thing. Human friends do love wiggly-butted greetings, but you know what impresses them even more? Calm, gentleman-like greetings! I know! I didn’t believe it either, until my brother taught me, and it turns out he is right!

You see, we did these exercises in class where I got posted to a tree and everybody would ignore me until I sat down and stayed calm. Then once I did, I got all the lovings I wanted! Every time I’d pop up, the lovings (and yummables) would disappear. And when I’d sit down, they’d return! It was like magic! We repeated this exercise everywhere — in our kitchen, in our front yard, and out on walks. Even now we sometimes do it when mama and dad are expecting human visitors (the Turkeyman came to visit last night and I had to show him my best behaviors in order to get lovings, like the photo above).

Eventually I figured out that my butt was actually a magic light switch that could turn ON the lovings from people by sticking to the ground, and would turn OFF the lovings from the people by lifting up. 

I knew I already had many clevers, but I didn’t know that some of them were in my butt — wow!

Hope this helps you and your magic light switch Love, Doodlebutt

Sweet Doodlebug… Why is it that when we go to bed at night you decide it’s appropriate to put the “butt-end” towards our face?  -Janine

Dear Miss Janine,

I must answer your question with a question: what is so wrong with snuggling up to a butt-in-the-face? We dogs do it with each other ALL the time. It started out as a little bit of a practical joke (“ha ha, butts on your face!”) but then it slowly became not-a-joke. Kind of like what happened with hipster clothes. We realized that butt-cuddling not only keeps us safe from the dreaded morning-breath, but it’s also a nice soft pillow upon which to rest our heads. In all honesty, we do this to you humans as a way of showing you our dedication, loyalty, and deep, deep love. So please enjoy! And wear a nose plug if you must.

XO, Doodlebug, President of the Hipster Butt-Cuddlers Club

Dear Doodlebug, If there is anything deliciously stinky laying around, I just have to have it. Especially…and this is the embarrassing part…my own poops. They make the perfect little snacks. I was wondering if you know what it is about my poops that make them so irresistible to me?  Super Cooper the Pooper Scooper

Dear Pooper-Cooper,

The other thing I am about to tell you is that your snacking delight is quite normal, even if your mama does think it’s gross. According to science-humans, there are a lot of reasons that dogs get all coprophagical. Sometimes dogs eat butt-nuggets because they’re bored, other times because they’ve been punished in the past for going in the wrong spot. I have heard that some puppy mill babies or dogs who were kept in very tight quarters are more likely to coprophagitate. Another common reason is low-quality diet.

If you are not already, switch to a high-quality food with no fillers like corn, wheat, and soy, and no chemical additives. Some dog-scientists think that because lower-grade kibbles contain a lot of non-digestibles, they taste pretty similar on both ends of the dog, if you know what I’m saying. I have also heard that you can have your foster mama add things to your kibbles that may change the PH in your butt-nuggets and make them seem less yummable. She can try pieces of pineapple, cooked spinach, or one of the commercially-available additives (but make sure she reads the label to make sure they are not full of chemically ickiness).

Outside of diet, stopping your snacking habit is going to take some hard work from your people — always cleaning up right away after you go to the Drop Zone, never reacting in any way or making a big deal if you do capture a delicious butt-nugget, and making sure you are getting plenty of exercise and mental stimulation.

Best of Luck, Doodlebug who prefers kibbles to dog butt-nuggets, but will raid the kitty litter box with no hesitation at all.

Dear Doodlebug, We would like very much to know how you managed to get your very own secretary.  We thought we were cleverer dogs (because we can always find the leftover pizzas) but finding our own secretary has alluded us. If we could tell our secretary what to do, maybe it would keep one of us busy during the day so we don’t go looking for the pizzas. Please help, Lily (the pizza-finder) & Cooper (the accomplice)

We have had much better luck with finding the yummables in the laundries and finding the kitchen garbage, which was Great Fun the one time I got to play. Chick says he has found the garbage many times in the past, but he and I only got to do it once together before mama and dad gave up and bought a Smarter-Than-Dog trash can. Although our dumpster-diving days were over, we secretly high-fived over how many clevers we must have, making them have to surrender to the World of the Fancy Trash Can. Also, Chick has much luck in finding the little bits of treats left over in mama’s jacket and pants pockets. What he does NOT have luck at is removing the bits of treats through the prepared pocket opening, so he normally does this surgically, using his tooths. It is an effective technique and I love watching him perform these procedures on mama’s clothes, but I must admit mama does not look too impressed when she comes home and finds these new post-surgical features in her clothings. Apparently Chick has not yet perfected his stitching skills. 

Anxiously awaiting pizzas, Duder

Holy cannoli friends, it’s a doozie of a Dear Doodlebug this week, mostly because I got SO carried away with one Most Excellent question. Those of you whose questions didn’t get answered this week, just keep holding on, we’ll get to you as soon as we can!

On to the dirty work:

Dear Doodlebug,You always look like such a dedicated sleeper and also very fashionable so I hope you can help us with bed advices. I too am very serious about my sleeps and I need a serious bed! I have one that is one piece bolster bed that mama got at Petsmart a long time ago. It is ok but it is one big piece and I cannot rearrange it. Also it is starting to wear out and it looks very tired. Mama also got me a bed from Westpaw that I like better because it is two pieces and I can arrange the middle piece exactly how I like it. But that one is also starting to wear out and the middle is not as fluffy and comfy as it was. I would like a bed that will stay comfy for a long time or that does not cost too much so mama can keep buying me new ones. I would prefer a bed that is in two pieces but what is most important is that it has a bolster part or something similar where I can rest my giant head. It would also be a big plus if it is nice looking and fashionable but that is not as important as comfyness and headrestyness. So do you have any advices for me about beds? Thanks, Don!

Dear Donald Duck the Chick Look-a-Like,

Did you ever stop to think that you look a little bit like my brother? And maybe it’s because you’re a duck and he is a chicken, I’m not sure. But there is something to it.

As for beds, you are so very right. I have much seriousness when it comes to my sleepage. Sometimes I even fall asleep during agility class on the breaks between my turn and my turn — and that’s on a bed of shredded cedar with NO bolster at all! My brother and I, lately we are extremely loving our new beds that mama adopted from Costco. She says that their adoption fee was only around $30, which sounds like not that many green papers to me. They are a lot like a little dog sofa, with nice cozy headrests on three sides, and a cushion in the middle that I can pick up with my mouth and burrow underneath when I feel like hiding. The only problem with them is that the covers come off so mama can put them in the washer and get rid of all of my hard-earned dog smells — you probably shouldn’t tell your mama about those zippers, or try to hide them after she brings your new bed home. The bed is not very enormous and I know you are taller than me and my brother, but we both like to sleep together in one of ours instead of each dog in his own, and all 110 pounds of us doesn’t think it’s too small.

If that one doesn’t work out for you, our uncle Tex just scored a bed with headrests from Overstock. I haven’t talked to him to hear whether he likes it or not, but maybe some other dogs’ secretaries have left reviews on some of those and can give you a clue on how wonderful or terrible they are?

Love, Doodlebug, Grand Champion Napper

Dear Dude,  I am writing to get some advices on how to be as famous as you are. My mom has a blog like your mamma (it’s even named after me!), where she writes about me and my foster siblings, but I am not a star like you and Sir Chick are on the inter-webs. I want to be more famous so I can help mom spread the word about how important it is to share your house with dogs in need. So, just how did you and your bro get so popular and get so many adoring fans (other than by using your pure handsome-ness)? 

Thanks in advance, 

Nola, The Rising Star of Mr. & Mrs. & Nola Kisses

Dear Nola,First of all, we love your blog about you and the dogs who come into your home and steal share your toys, food, beds, and people with you! We absolutely do hope that you achieve many fames like me and my brother. And second of all, what a very important question you have asked. I’m not sure if I can totally answer it (because my brother and his other foster kids were pretty famous way before I came along), but I have interviewed my brother the Chick and he has given me some ideas about how we got to be Kind Of A Big Deal. So here we go:

1. Use high-quality photos. Sometimes mama writes posts that she thinks are very clever and interesting and funny, and then the comments of the people are all about the pictures. Most internet-viewers are very visual people and dogs, so big, bright, interesting photos will draw in a lot of people who otherwise might have skipped along. Our mama is lucky because she has a giant black box that goes click and makes nice photos of me and my brother, but even a simple camera can do the job. There are lots of great tricks on the internet about taking good photos, so read up!

2. Post regularly. For the first year and a half of this blog, mama wrote every single weekday. As you can imagine, this was a lot of work! But the advantage was that our blog was dependable. This was especially important to mama back then, when my brother was trying to get dogs out of the house as soon as possible they were trying to find the perfect home for fosters. The more people who grew addicted to their stories and would check in every morning before work or every afternoon after lunch, the more potential homes we were reaching. Mama has since gotten lazy slowed down the posting schedule because we are not fostering anymore so readership is not quite as critical, and we have seen a big decrease in the number of blog views per post.

3. Write from the heart. We don’t only share the good stories. We also share the hard stuff. Our post about euthanizing a foster dog, Goodnight sweet Blue, is one of our most-read posts of all time. Chick’s tales of his past issues (I used to love to bake, or how we worked through my anxieties) is another. People love reading about happy dogs experiencing happy things, but so many dog owners — most dog owners — also deal with the hard stuff. The problem is, the hard stuff is also harder to write about, so it gets suppressed, and regular dog owners dealing with regular problems end up feeling isolated and alone. Being open about the good AND the bad of dog ownership and fostering can bring in loyal readers a lot faster than a few cute photos and a sweet anecdote.

4. Network. Lately mama has been too lazy to keep up, but early on, we were doing a lot of reading other blogs and commenting — and forming allies in our community. Making friends with rescues, shelters, non-profits, businesses, and regular ol’ folk in your community can help build your reader base and increase your chances at finding adopters for your fosters.

5. Think big. Writing about bigger policy or advocacy issues is more time-consuming than The Daily Chronicles of Dog and Dog, but it can pay off.  Our two most successful posts ever were of this nature — Pit bull awareness — words do matter; and Do Unto Others: intimidation in dog training. We took on sticky topics that can be controversial but that we feel strongly about, and it paid. Each of those posts was picked up by large and popular groups on Facebook and other blogs, and our posts ended up circulating and re-circulating. After each of those posts, we saw a big boost in readership, too.

6. Host fundraisers, contests & give-aways. We have hosted a number of fundraisers and giveaways over the years, and each time, our readership has seen a big-temporary-followed-by-a-small-permanent increase. Early on, we constructed a simple Kibble for Comments fundraiser, in which we donated a pound of dog food for every comment on our blog during a certain period. It was a success! Since, we’ve done more sophisticated fundraisers for specific causes, including one for our darling Elderbull foster Little Zee, who needed a lot of medical care, and one for the Schrodi Memorial Training Fund, an Austin-area non-profit that offers training scholarships for families who need the help but can’t afford high-quality private training. Some new readers come for the story and some come for the loot. But either way, the good people of the internet seem to love having a cause to rally behind.

Hope this helps, Miss Nola!

Sir Chick & Dr Dude, Celebridogs

Dear Doodlebug, My mama buys me puzzles and toys that will hurt my brain thinking but I’m just *not* a chewer.  She’ll give me a chewy puzzle filled with yummy treats and I give it right to my boyfriend who is perfectly happy chewing away all day long. We often play fetch, which I love but can you please give her some hints on what else would work for a very clever girl who isn’t mouthy?! Thank you, Bella the very sensitive, and very clever, pibble-mix girl

Dear Lazy-belle,

How can you not want to chew on things that taste or smell like dinners? I don’t even understand it! Have you tried puzzles that are about getting the kibbles out but not chewing, like the Treat Stik or the Kong Wobbler? What about hollow bones stuffed with wet food and frozen? You can’t possibly be a dog and not enjoy those fine delicacies.

But here’s the other thing — my brother and I always have to work for our foods. When mama was first teaching us how to do this, she would measure out our daily portion in the morning and give us bits of it throughout the day in puzzles. Whatever we didn’t finish in 20 minutes got taken away and put back in the dog food bin or in the trash can — so we got that much LESS food during the day. Well as you can imagine, it didn’t take us many days to figure out that we’d better work for those snacks, and quickly! Now, I must tell you that Chick and I were both natural chewers and eaters, but Chick has had some foster dogs who did NOT care to work for their kibbles. But even they came around after a couple days of not eating enough!

Oh, and tell your mama to put you and your boyfriend in separate rooms while you eat. It’s no fair for him to steal your snacks!

XO, Bugga-snacker

Dear Doodlebug, back with another week’s advices column! Boy did we get many many most excellent questions this week! I am trying to answer them as quickly as I can, but my typist is very lazy and only lets me address a few per week . . . so those of you who have sent them in recently, please be patient with my lazy secretary. She and I will get with you soon!

Here we go:

Hi Doodle!  I was wondering if you have any advice on how to put together an active routine for a dog (when it’s not too super hot or too freezing cold out of course). I’m getting into distance running and I was wondering, without a backyard, what’s a good way to determine a good distance/pace for a dog? What should I look for to know whether my dog is too tired or stressed to continue a run and we should pack up and go home? I know every dog is different, but if you have any insight into matching up a new runner to a potential new dog, I’d much appreciate it!  Love, Nevie (Cats Can’t Go For Runs)

Dear Lazy Cat Lover,

I must disagree with you off the bat — my brother and I have chased a cat or two, and let me tell you: they sure can go for runs. They can go for sprints, in fact! But I’ve also seen them go for jogs. So before you toss aside the possibility, why not get your feline companion some nice Brooks running shoes and a visor, and test it out?

Now, on to your question about dogs and exercise. Just like people, dogs need to build up their endurance before they can be asked to run any great distances. And just like people, just because we are able to go for a long run off the bat, doesn’t mean it’s good for us. We can get all kinds of injuries, and you don’t want to deal with that. So whatever dog you end up with (and I hope it’s one that looks exactly like me, obviously), start slow and short. Maybe go a mile at a leisurely pace. If that goes well, next time add a quarter mile, then add some more. There isn’t much of a limit to a sturdy, healthy dog’s athletic ability – my brother the Chick helped train my mama up for a marathon back in 2005 — they went on all of their short and long runs together up to 18 miles!

I am not an expert, but from what I have heard, there are some dogs who do NOT make good running companions. Those are ones with super-squatty noses (like pugs and bulldogs), ones with super-short legs (like doxies), and giant breeds with a predisposition to joint issues (like some Mastiffs). Oh, and puppies should not go running — their joints and bones are still growing, and the impact from running can be bad for them. It’s a good idea to check with a vet before starting a running program with a puppy, to make sure the puppy is ready. But otherwise, any medium-to-large dog with at least a moderate energy level should make you a good running companion.

Oh, and learn the signs of heat exhaustion before you start exercising your dog! Some of the early signs of “I’m too tired” include dragging behind on your run, thick, sticky saliva, and a scoop/spoon-shaped tongue that hangs way out.

You go girl, ‘Bug

Dear Doodlebug, My mama is a veggie-tarian and she heard that your mama and dad are veggie-tarians also. She knows that us dogs like to eat a well rounded diet of meats, vegetables, fruits and healthy grains, but sometimes she feels conflicted about the meats part. (I love the meats very much!) Do you know if your mama and dad have the same conflictions? I don’t want my mama to feel bad about my food. Do you have any advices? Thanks for your times, Bug. Sir Reginald Von Dog. 

Dear Dogma,

It sounds like you’re on the verge of losing that boyfriend person. So tell Doodlebug: is he worth it? Studies have shown that you humans sleep better without a dog in the bed, let alone two — though for us dogs, we sleep just fine whether we’re on a human bed or a dog bed. If you like that boyfriend of yours — and your sleepings — you may want to think about asking your dogs to sleep on their very own beds, not on yours. Let them sleep in the room, by all means. You can even set up their beds right beside yours so you can comfort yourself them by giving them pettings as you fall asleep. As for me, I am so perfect that I prefer to sleep in my own bed than with my people, though I do enjoy joining mama in bed during occasional nappings and sometimes for a first-thing-in-the-morning snuggle. But mama says that some of her former foster dogs were human-bed-sleepers, and she and dad had to teach them how to be dog-bed-sleepers. So she got an extra comfy dog bed for the fosters and every night, she would offer a really yummy kong for a bedtime snack, putting it in the dog bed right before everybody goes to sleep. For many dogs, this was enough — by the time they were done with their kong, they were plumb tuckered out and ready to snooze. For other fosters, it took added steps — a baby gate strategically placed, or a leash tied to a railing or piece of furniture to tether the dog to the spot so she couldn’t sneak onto the bed at night. Occasionally, there would be some protesting and crying the first few nights, but very quickly, it was gone. Everybody was sleeping much, much better, and mama and dad are still together!

Best of luck, Your Bedbug (who can sleep happily anywhere)

Dear Doodlebug, I heard that some ground hog said Spring is coming early. I would like Spring to come early because I am sick of cold and snow. Trouble is, I neither like nor trust ground hogs. They get in my tomato patch during the summer and eat all my tasty tomatoes that I like to sample right from the vine. Mama asks me to leave her some, but they are soooooo tasty. How can I trust the predictions of a creature that steals my tastiest of treats? You are smart and seem trustworthy (what are your thoughts on tomatoes?). Will Spring come early?  –Desperately Seeking Spring and tomatoes

Dear Springster,

Well, you are definitely right about one thing: you should never trust a groundhog. Do you think that groundhogs decide whether to make spring come early or not based solely on whether they are hungry for our tomatoes yet or would rather wait another month or two? Those greedy bastards. Not to mention, they are most definitely in cahoots with those evil bushy-tailed squirrels, aren’t they? We don’t really see any groundhogs around these parts, but we sure do see some squirrels. Every day, they try to death me and my brother, and it doesn’t look like we’re the only ones:

source: http://textfromdog.tumblr.com/

So stay safe out there, wherever you are. Remain vigilant against groundhogs, squirrelhogs, and tomato-hogs of all kinds. Spring will be here before you know it, and in the meantime, build up your arsenal of weapons. Mama says the guy who lived in our house before us deathed squirrels with a paintball gun. But I wouldn’t stop there — I would consider a bazooka, or a cannon.

Yours in vigilance, Doodlebug the anti-hog

source: textfromdog.tumblr.com

Hi Dude, Our mom calls us the poop hunters of the Serengeti, becuz we are always on the lookout for some cat poo to eat. Is there a 12-step program for k-9 cat poo addicts? Mom won’t kiss us after we eat it. Can you help? Sincerely, Well, lets just say S&S, since CPAA is anony-mouse. (cat poo addicts anony-mouse)

Oh, you poor S&Sers, you have discovered the golden nugget. For the record, I’ll tell you that my brother says that this golden nugget is not quite as good as the diamond nugget, which is live cicadas. A few years ago when Chick lived in DC and they had the every-17-year-Cicada-invasion, our uncle Tex actually had to wear a basket muzzle when going outside, or else he would eat so many platinum nuggets that he’d make himself sick. He said they tasted like flying chicken nuggets!

Anyhow, our life was so simple before we discovered cat dumplings, but now that we know they exist — in the cat box at work, in the neighbor’s mulch — we are constantly overtaken by the irresistible urge to hunt it out and scarf it down . . . and then french-kiss our mama. You see, hunting and eating cat poo is a self-reinforcing behavior, so it is very hard to teach a dog not to want to do it. So I can’t help you to not crave this finest of delicacies, but I can tell your mama to teach you a really good “leave it” type phrase that gets you to stop hunting. Our mama can always tell when we’re on the poop patrol, and reminding us to stop is often all it takes to get us to move on by. And if that still fails . . . maybe some breath mints?

Forever on the prowl, Doodlebug

Hello friends,

Here we are again on Dear Doodlebug Day! I am most very excited about today’s post! Do you want to know why? Not only because there are some extremely handsome photos of me included, but also because I finally get to talk to you about things that are not dog behavior! I had the most funs ever writing the answer to the first question below, so if you have other Important Advices needs that are not related to serious issues of dog behaviors, send ’em my way!

Here we go:

Dear Doodlebug, You and your brother always look so dapper laying on your Hawaiian print sofa. Does it make you feel like you are on the beach, digging for sand crabs and rolling in dead fish? How can I convince my dad to get one like that for me? I would like to look as handsome as you two and have such wonderful daydreams! XO, Dreaming of the Tropics

Dear Tropical Dreamer,

Thank you as always for the complements. However, I must clarify a few things about our The Dude Sofa. First of all, I don’t think that this is technically a Hawaiian print, as Hawaiian prints should have Hawaiian flowers on them, right? I am not sure because I am not a Hawaiian Shirt Museum Curator, but it seems to be so. And second of all, mama thinks it is important that I tell you that this sofa is our outside sofa, not our inside sofa. You may remember the Dora, which is our inside sofa. Mama says she would never be caught dead putting a non-Hawaiian print sofa inside the house (although I hope she never gets caught dead at all, personally). I don’t know why it’s important that I tell you this, but apparently it is. And third of all (this is the most important one of my points about the sofa), I want to point out that this sofa is the same as the sofa that my namesake, The Dude, had in his apartment in the Big Lebowski. How cool is that? Enthusiasts might recognize it, but for those of you who have not seen the Big Lebowski enough times to understand why I am named after it, there is a tiny corner of my sofa visible in this screenshot here. Pretty neat, eh?

But I digress. Our particular outside sofa was a special find on Craigslist, and as far as we can tell, the cushion covers were handmade by somebody and not The Dude Sofa manufacturer. So in order to get your own, you will have to learn how to sew very well with pipings and zippers, and I have to admit I do believe this would be pretty challenging without any supposable thumbs. As a second-best option, why not go for a Hawaiian shirt? Sometimes I wear my dad’s Hawaiian shirts since mama does not allow dad to wear them himself (although to be honest I do not prefer them because they are too long and loose around my middle, and sometimes I pee on them — don’t tell dad). Also, I have even seen a tutorial while surfing the Youtubes about converting a men’s shirt into a dog shirt. Wouldn’t that be neat? Or if –again– you’re not such a seamster or seamstress, maybe you could settle for one of these handsome dog Hawaiian shirts from the Amazon. I bet you’ll look just as dapper in one of those as I do on my The Dude Sofa!

XOXO, The Dude (who Abides)

PS – We are no longer allowed on our inside sofa the Dora (even though it is named after a dog), so if you have any ideas for how to get our mama to let us back up there, please tell them to us!

Dear ‘Bug, I mean this in the nicest and most admiring of ways, but you and your Chick seem pretty spoiled. Do you have any tips for how to get my people to spoil me better? Yours in admiration, Stella the Hungarian Vizsla Princess

Dear Hercegnő (I believe that is how you say “princess” in your motherland),

Let me ask you this: do you bring your mama her favorite flowers (tulips) and her favorite chocolates (any)? Maybe THIS is why we are treated so well!

But more serious-like. We have a very good life, yes. We get to go to work with our mama. We have our very own dog hammock in the back of the car. We eat the finest of kibbles and get treats of organic roast beefs, chicken skins, and other delicacies. We bask in the sunshine and snuggle under the covers. I get to go do agilidogging every week with my favorite teacher, Miss Patti. We have the most beautiful of dog collars, and a rotation of seasonal outfits that we don when the weather and mood are appropriate. We have nine dog beds in our house, and at least four blankets of our own. When mama and dad go away, we get to go to doggie camp where we are treated like kings. We have our very own blog, and sometimes people recognize us out on the street and come say hello. So yes, our life is good.

But are we spoiled? Not really. You see, Miss Princess, we have to work for everything. We never get anything by being pushy or demanding. We have strict house rules, and if we break them, we lose our privileges. Mama and dad expect a lot from us, you see. We get to go for walks, but only if we walk politely and follow the rules. We eat delicious kibbles, but only if we sit patiently until we are released. We get yummy snacks, but only out of puzzles that make our little brains hurt. We get plenty of pettings and cuddles, but only when we are relaxed and being polite. We get hand fed roast beefs, but only when we are in a very challenging situation, like teaching reactive dogs how to not be scared (Chick), or mastering agility weave poles (me), or learning to not stare rudely at tiny fluffballs (me again), or learning how to have our nails filed (my brother). If we break the “no barking at the door” rule, we go to time out. If we act funny and protective of a toy or a bed, that toy or bed disappears. If we act pushy and demanding, we get stone cold ignored — or worse — put in our room to calm down. If we act wild on our leashs, we go right back in the house and lose our walk.

In fact, when grandma comes to visit, she actually feels sorry for us and how non-spoiled we are. For example, she is always wanting to give us a scrap of food from the counter while she is helping with the human-cookings, or let us up on the Dora (which is Off Limits) to snuggle with her, and she gets very frowny and sad for us when mama says NO! We would get frowny and sad too, but Mama says the rules are important, and we trust her. After all — our life is pretty sweet!

Best of luck with your Princessness,

Prince Doodlebug the American Pit-mix

Dear Doodlebug, back once again! Some of you may know from our Facebooks Page that I had surgery on my tooths yesterday, so I’m still feeling a little dopey and drowsy. I got one Great Big tooth and one Very Small tooth ejected from my mouths, and although I have to only eat soft foods for a couple of weeks, I know I will be on the up-and-up very soon.

But I am a Very Brave Dog, and so I answered some of your requests for advices even though my head is a little cloudy! Here we go!

Dear Doodlebug, Do you like the vacuum? I hate the vacuum. I am pretty sure if my people would just let me attack its soft underbelly, I could rid my house of the vacuum menace forever. Do you know of any dogs who successfully killed a vacuum in this manner? Is there some other method of disabling a vacuum that you might recommend? My people insist that I ignore the roaring beast or go to a different room while the monster is attacking the floors we walk on, but I think it’s only a matter of time before it becomes dissatisfied with the floors and turns on us! For some reason, my otherwise excellent people seem blind to this danger in our midst. Help! Abbey of the Brindle Furs

Dear Abbey (ha ha, get it?),

I am a Buddhist and also a pacifist, so I can’t help you with the deathing of your vacuum cleaner. But if I were not a Buddhist or a pacifist, I might offer you some suggestions . . . like what about poisoning it? Maybe you could get your paws on some vacuum poison and sneakily sprinkle it all over the floor right before your people let it do its noisy thing? Or maybe you could make friends with a cat or a rat and convince them to chew through the cable (making extra careful sure that it isn’t plugged in while they’re doing the chewing)? Both of these seem like they might work, if I were less of a Buddhist and a pacifist.

But since I am a Buddhist and a pacifist, I have another idea. What if your people help you make friends with the enemy instead? They could do this by leaving it out someplace that you walk by all the time, like your kitchen. Then they could start feeding you your dinners or playing your favorite games with you near the vaccum (but not so near that you’re skeered to approach). Then gradually you could start eating and playing closer and closer. And if the way it yells and hollers and carries on is the biggest problem, maybe you could have them make a recording of the hollering sound and play it for you when nothing is happening — first very, very quietly, then eventually louder and louder until it’s up to its normal noisy volume. I’m not sure if this might work, but maybe it’s worth a try if the deathing doesn’t go as planned, or — even worse — if your people replace your newly deathed vacuum with another one?

XO, Doodlebug who sleeps through vacuumings but thinks motorcycles are QUITE scary

Well gosh, that must be some special pillow that you have, huh? It sure sounds like you give it plenty of attentions! From what I have heard and read, humpty-dumptiness happens for a whole bunch of different reasons, like sexiness, dominance, attention-seeking, anxiety, and boredom. It’s hard for me to say which of these things are making you do the humpty dance with your bed — though I can say that it’s probably not the sexiness or the dominance. If this humpiness is new, then have your mama ask herself: has anything Major changed in your life or your house recently? Sometimes stress can make dogs do strange behaviors that didn’t happen before. Or have there been any medical issues with you lately? Big behavioral changes that happen suddenly are often a good reason to go to the vet’s office and check things out to make sure everything is okie-dokie.

Do you have a $50 trick? That is, a trick that she is confident enough about that she would slap $50 down on the table as a bet that you will do it upon request, no matter what you are busy with? If not, maybe it’s time to work on that. If you have one already, have your mom ask you to do that trick (even if it is just “sit” or “down” or “come”) when she sees you doing the humpty dance. It will be a Non-Compatible Behavior, which means you will have to stop the humpiness in order to do it. Then your mama can distract you with something else — a toy, a puzzle, a game, etc. Over time, she may be able to teach you to do something else when you’re feeling kind of humpty, and if you are a Very Clever Dog, you may even stop doing the humpty dance altogether. 

But it’s still a good idea to check with your vet and — if your mama suspects anxiety or another behavioral cause — a good trainer in your area. They will set you straight!

XO, your ‘Bug

Mama says this is a Behavior Question and she does not let me answer Behavior Questions on the interwebs, but I will try to sneak in a quick few Brilliant Thoughts before she catches me. It sounds like you had a bunch of Bad Days at the vet’s office, so now every time you go, you think it’s going to be a Bad Day. But what if it were usually a Good Day instead? My advices are no substitute for the help of a real live Dog-and-People Trainer, but here are some things to think about anyhow. If you live close enough, have your mama take you to the parking lot in front of the vet’s office a few times a week to eat dinner or play your favorite game or get your favorite massage. Bring your kibbles and your bowl or your toy and just hop out of the car, eat your dinners or have a game, then go home. Then once that becomes easy, eat your kibbles or play fetchings right inside the waiting room — or treats and maybe do some basic tricks like “sit” and “shake” or whatever you know and like best. Then once that becomes easy too, see if some of the peoples who work there will help your mama feed you kibbles and treats or toss your ball for you when  you visit. The activity isn’t important, it can be any of the Things Reggie Likes Best. The only thing is, Reggie, that you have to go slow and make sure that you are relaxed every step of the way. If you are too nervous to play or enjoy your massage or eat the treat, your mama moved too fast and needs to back up some. If you do it right, the vet’s office may soon be a place where Good Things happen instead of Bad Things. 

Hope this helps! 

Doodlebug who is basically a celebrity at the vet’s office because he visits so happily and so often 

Dearest Doodlebugger, I’ve got a really important question and it has to do with food! I am allergic to wheat and it makes my stomach really hurt & make funny noises, and makes me have very bad poops. Mom and Dad started feeding me wheat free food, but I only like the fish & sweet potato flavor, and only sometimes. My poor mom tries and tries to buy training treats that interest me, but she doesn’t have much luck. She even tries to stuff my kong with human foods, but I don’t even like that most of the time. I’ll eat anything I can steal off the kitchen counter, but when I know it’s for me it’s just not as fun or interesting. Sometimes I go a whole day without eating anything! It makes mamma worried and it makes me look a little skinny. So doodles, how do I help mom find foods that interest me without breaking the bank? Do you have any wheat-free recipes you want to share with her (we got some from two a few posts ago that mom can’t wait to bake!) Could I have another allergy that makes me not eat sometimes, or is it normal for the cutest pups to be picky with their foods? Thanks in advance doodle, you and chick are my favorites, and I wish could bite your necks in play all day, XoXo, Calvin 

Dear Finnicky Eater, 

One Major Question: Are you crazy? Your peoples give you fish and sweet potato foods and you are not interested? Jeepers creepers, I am just not sure what to make of this! I have always been a Champion Eater, so I can’t say that I understand where you’re coming from. But I can ask you some questions because I am a Clever Investigator, and maybe together we can get to the bottom of this very funny situation. How long ago did you make the switch from your wheaties to your new, wheat-free foods? If it was very very recent, then maybe it’ll just take a little time for you to adjust. Dogs won’t starve to death, so eventually you will probably get hungry enough to eat. Unless . . . my second question: how often do you steal food off the counter or get Human Food from the Table or Counter? If it’s often, tell your mama that it’s not good for you! You are just learning that you can pick whether to eat the dog foods or the human foods, and although the human foods may smell and taste yummy, they are not as full of nutritionality as dog foods for you! And third, have you asked your Dogtor about this situation? It is possible that there is some kind of medical situation (tummy problems? ouchy tooths? illness of the sense of smell?) that is making you not want to eat. Your Dogtor will be able to tell you whether this is the case.

So like I was saying, my brother the Chick and I are Champion Eaters. But a few times during his fostering career, my brother came across a dog who was too nervous or sick to eat for a few days, and he did find some tricks to make them more interested in their kibbles. Try having your people mix your kibbles with some cottage cheese, some low-sodium chicken broth, or (the best) some raw goat’s milk (available at the fancy hippie pet stores only). Start out with several tablespoons per cup of food, and then gradually reduce the Added Yumminess until you’re back down to just kibbles.

Best of luck Calvin, Doodlebug the Foodie

Doodlebug LOVES sweet potatoes!

Dear Doodlebug here for another installment of my new blog advices column! It has been hot and sunny in Austin these past days which makes me and my brother very happy and very, very lazy. So ‘scuse me if I don’t write as much this week. I am very much enjoying your questions, so keep sending ’em!

On to business:

Dear Doodlebug, My mom keeps talking about fostering a pit bull type dog. The problem is I am not a big fan of this idea. I am HIGHLY dog selective and still get reactive if a dog looks at me the wrong way, even though I myself give long glares at most strange dogs I meet. My mom tells me this is rude and tries to distract me or go in the other direction, with limited success. I do have some friends I really like to play with and hang out with, though, preferably somewhat smaller and male and who don’t mind my rather rude behavior, rough play and wild vocalizations. Do you think I could ever handle a foster brother? Do you have suggestions? Do you think my mom is crazy for even considering this? Do you think you can convince her to give me more treats? Thanks Doodlebug. Sincerely, Shelby the Wonder Dog and Queen of all she surveys

I have never gotten to be a foster brother myself, but I have heard stories about it from my brother the Chick, who has fostered many dogs. According to my brother, your mom can foster dogs whether you decide to be friend-like with them or not — the only question is whether YOU  foster them too. You see, some of my brother’s fosters, like Gonzo Bunny-Ears, Stevie Wonder, and Curious Georgia — became good pals with him and got to spend lots and lots of time together. 

Others — like Lollie Wonderdog and Dora the Explorer — he wasn’t entirely sure about, so they only spent time together sometimes but not all the time. And others still — like Little Zee — did NOT want to be friends with my brother and there was no changing her mind, so they never even met at all. You see?

We wrote a few weeks ago about fostering and how to get started — please tell your mama to read that post if she hasn’t already. If she thinks that she can separate your house or crate-and-rotate, then she can get started irregardlessly of whether you are going to want to party with the foster over time. And if she is comfortable with her separation arrangement, then she can really take her time integrating you and the intruder (slowly, slowly, slowly) to maximize your chances at friendness. And who knows — you may even end up falling in love, just like my brother did with me!

XO, Doodlebug the foster failer

Dear Doodlebug… My question is this, why does my dear dog Tina love to burrow? Into your armpit, the corner of the couch, a pile of blankets, really anywhere. She particularly loves to burrow into my armpit/shoulder area making groan-y noise and then twist all around for belly rubs. Is this a special dog trick, do my armpits smell delicious or is her face really itchy? Please advise.  Yours Truly, Flummoxed in Philadelphia a.k.a Rose

Dear Flummoxed,

I am not an expert of any kind, but I have been exercising my big brain thinking about your question just the same. What I came up with is this: maybe Tina likes to burrow because she is a dog who is getting back to her ancestral roots? Wild dogs (nothing like me and Chick, but our ancestors just the same) were denning animals, which means they liked to hide in small spaces to feel safe and warm. For those dogs, covering themselves up and making a little nest out of soft things was the best way to achieve the safeness and the warmness. Us modern dogs are no wild animals, of course, but maybe we still like to give a little shout-out to our homies of past by continuing some of their behaviors?

XO, Your Brainiac Bug

Dear Mr. Bug, What are your advices to get me to behave while in the car? I do so enjoy a car ride, but I get so excited sometimes that I misbehave. My mama sometimes uses a doggie harness, but sometimes we just need to go somewhere quick, and she is too lazy to put me in the harness. Are there any good ways to get me to be more calm so my momma doesn’t yell at me and threaten to pull the car over? Thanks, Hazel the Monkey-Puppy

Dear Hazel,

Mama says that I can say this to you because she knows your mama personally. My extremest apologies if I offend you! You should tell your mom to stop being a lazy-butt and use your harness when you ride in the car! First of all, harnesses are much safer for the dog in case of accidentation. Second, they are safer for your mama because you won’t be trying to put yourself on her head like a hat while she is doing important things like texting using her turn signal and monitoring her surroundings. And third, they are so very stylish!

Also, tell your mama to never yell at you for being silly — you and I both know that when you are being silly, you are just trying to get attention, and her yelling is still attention (even if it’s mean attention), which is what you are going for. Tell her to strap on your harness, ignore your sillies, and praise you like the good girl you are when you’re being a good and calm girl.

Good luck! XO, The World’s Laziest Car Bug

Dear Doodlebug — Our blue Pit Bull Lola battles horrible allergies ever since she was a pup… fast forward to 3.5 years old — environmental allergies equaled numerous trips to the vet, Cornell University, allergy injections every 10 days… steroids, prednisone, benadryl, zyrtec… antibiotics for infections relating to her chewing and scratching… enzyme baths… have only temporarily helped. Then last year she developed a food allergy on top of it. I’m at a loss… we feel helpless and hate having her medicated all the time…. she’s just miserable. Per her food allergy tests we have ruled out much of what she is allergic to… rice, corn, chicken, potato… tho she did well with beef and quinoa, carrots and green beans… currently she on a dry prescription diet of Kangaroo & Oats, which worked for a bit in conjunction with her injections… but for the past 4 months she seems to be reverting… and altho she eats like a horse, she’s losing weight.  We are thinking of cooking her meals… can you recommend how to go about it to ensure she gets a balanced diet? Thank you ever so much! Peace, Love & Pawprints,  Jess

Dear Jess the Dog Chef,

Your poor Lola looks even worse than I did when I was having the worst of my allergenicness, yikes! I am not a vet or a nutritionist, so I can’t really help you. BUT, the good news I can offer you is that there are experts out there to solve your problems! Please find your nearest canine nutritionist and go see her or him. Most prescription vet formulas really aren’t very high quality as far as food goes, so I am not that suprised that she is losing weight. Home cooking (or feeding raw) might be a better option than the Iams food she is on right now. There are many books on the market about homemade dog food, but it’s a complex matter, and important, too. Best to save yourself the worry and consult with somebody whose whole job it is to help dogs like Lola eat healthy, well-balanced meals that don’t give them the itchies and the baldies!

XO, Your Ex-Itchy Bugaroo

Hello my lovelies,

It’s time for my second weekly column! I am still receiving she-mails from many of your mamas and he-mails from your dads. Please tell them thank you, ok?

I am trying to reply to as many of your requestions as I can, but it’s hard work for only one dog. So please don’t become angered if I am delayed in getting back to you. Deal?

Let’s begin!

Dear Bug…my  name is Iris and I live in Minnesota.  I am a super chewer and my Mom likes to leave my kongs stuffed with peanut butter.  I LOVE that but now the vet says I am getting too tubby.  What does you Mom put in your Kong to keep you happy?  I love all kinds of snacks and veggies too. Love, Iris      ps.  I think you are cute.

Dear Tubby Iris,

I can’t blame a gal for loving the peanut butters, but it’s no wonder you’re getting tubby! Is it ONLY peanut butters going into your kongs, without anything else? I don’t know how to read nutritional labels or anything, but I think that peanut butters are packed with fats, proteins, and calories — all important things for us dogs, but in moderation! I am allergenic with peanut butters so I can’t eat them, but my brother can, and he says mama never gives him more than a tablespoon or two in a day!

Luckily, there are many other yummies your mama can put in your kongs for you that are more health-like than just peanut butters. Here are some of our favorites:

• cooked green veggies (broccoli or kale or green beans or spinach or . . .) chopped up and mixed with mashed sweet (or not sweet) potato or canned tuna or mashed beans (lentils, pinto, etc) and a little fish oil or yogurt to get it wetter, then frozen
• kibbles mixed with canned dog food, then frozen
• carrots or celery or cabbage or other crunchful foods diced and mashed with a little banana and plain yogurt or peanut butter, then frozen
• frozen berries and chopped cooked greens (collards, kale, spinach), mixed with yogurt or cottage cheese, then frozen

Basically, our favorite recipes include something crunchy-not-mushy (kibbles, berries, raw or cooked chopped veggies) or something semi-mushy (potatoes, canned tuna, cooked greens) and something mushy to help it stick together (canned dog food, plain yogurt, banana, peanut butters). Tell your mama to mix it all up and freeze until it’s solid. 

If she wants to get all fancy-like, she can give everything a whirl in the food processor and stuff it into your kongs and bones that way — but it all depends on whether you’re a smooth or crunchy peanut butters kind of gal!

XO, Doodlebug

PS- Here’s me helping mama with one of my favorite stuffers, sweet potatoes!

Dear Doodlebug, What is a “good fit” for a harness? xxxooxxx, Purl, Melo, Bounty

Dear Three Musketeers,

Here’s me modeling one of my several harnesses. Doesn’t it make me look even handsomer? 

I’ll tell you what makes this harness most excellent. First, it does not rub me in my armpits when I walk. If yours rubs in your armpits, it’s not a good fit. Second, it doesn’t squeeze my shoulders together (like certain popular harnesses do). That makes it comfy and more orthopedically sound, since it won’t give me any muscular or skeletal injuries if I get real excited and jump toward a squirrel, yikes! Third — and this is a special thing about the way I learned to walk on a harness), it has two connection points — one on the back and another on the chest. So when mama walks me, she actually has a double-ended leash with one clip attached to each point! I don’t know why this makes me feel safer, but it does — and it helps us communicate with each other better. Mama says to think of it as walking with somebody guiding you gently holding both of your shoulders, rather than just pushing and pulling on the back of your shirt (or the front of your shirt). Much safer and more pleasant, right?

Some of the harnesses we like the best are the Control-Ease (my Chick uses this one) and the Freedom Harness (I uses this one), if you’re looking for a most excellent one!

XO, Doodlebug

Dear Opie & Gemma & Mama,

What a most excellent question you are asking me! It was so interesting, in fact, that my brother, dad, mama and I thought and talked about it for a long long time. We have many different kinds of feelings about your question — some of which are conflicting — but in the end we came up with a bottom line, and it is this: the most important thing to us is that everybody be proud of their dog and treat it with love and respect.  People who take pride in their dog (often via an activity) are probably more likely to feed it well, take it to the vet, and form a strong, trusting relationship with it. At least, that’s our opinion. And if a variety of activities and types of “image” help more people find healthy ways to be proud of their dog, then we think that’s great! For us, our mama and dad’s love and respect means agili-dogging, hikes, lots of snuggles, learning tricks, and plenty of dog modelings. And it’s easy for us to assume that everybody who loves a pit bull dog loves it for those kinds of reasons. But that would be kind of narrow minded.

There are as many types of excellent dog owners as there are spots under my brother the Chick’s white furs. Some take pride in their dog by dressing it up in tutus, others by maintaining its natural beauty, others by making it a therapy dog, others yet by helping it to excel at a dog sport like frisbee dog, and still others are very, very proud of their champion weight-pull dog. And we don’t think we have a right to believe that the pit bull dog owners who work hard to build their dogs’ muscle mass and use weight pull training as their primary form of excercise are any less excellent, as “breed ambassadors,” than those whose dogs wear tiaras and tutus and swim for exercise.

Here’s another thought: all kinds of people are drawn to dogs like me and my brother (and those dogs with many more toughnesses in the photo you sent us). Some people do want to portray a “macho” image with their large and muscular dogs, and that’s ok, right? And isn’t it even better if they do it via a positive means — like organized weight pull competition — than something abusive or illegal? Let us know what you think!

XO, Doodlebug

Dear Doodlebug, I live where it gets very cold and snowy and, even worse, the roads are heavily salted to melt the ice. This makes my pads burn and I don’t like to go outside, and I frustrate my mom by removing the boots she puts on my paws (this girl likes to be freeeeeeee). Mom already makes me work for my food–sometimes I give her the stink eye because of it. But I need other ways to get my crazies out. So, any suggestions on indoor activities to help exercise/exorcise the mind and body?  Thanks, Shelby the Wonder Dog

Dear Shelby the Snowdog,

I myself am a native Texan, but my brother once told me tales of snowy lands where your paws get froze and you actually wish you were wearing more than one sweater. I can’t imagine it! But here in Texas it sometimes gets most very hot — so hot that you can burn your little pads on your tootsies if you walk on the street while the sun is out, can you believe it? And so, I think I know about the need for exercise/exorcise that your writings are about.

Here are some thoughts on how to keep yourself busy during those snowish winters. First, mental exercise is even better than physical exercise for getting the sillies out and exhausting a dog. A three-mile run may take the edge off, but 10 minutes of trick training, a 10 minute puzzle game, and a 5 minute game of fetch (with rules!) will make you dog-gone pooped!

In our climate-controlled house we play all kinds of physical and mental games to keep me and my brother nappish all day long. Those include:

• Fetchings (which I just learned last week and am loving very much!);
• Trick training (we like this book for new trick learnings);
• Scavenge (where mama puts me in the sit-stays and hides kibbles or other treats all over the house, then releases me to scavenger hunt for them);
• Mini agilities in our living room (using benches, brooms, and chairs);
• Hide-and-seek (where mama puts us both in the sit-stays together and then goes and hides and releases us and we have to find her);
• and of course many puzzles of different kinds — frozen kongs and bones, other kibble-dispensing puzzles, and sometimes kibble puzzles made of non-dog-things like a pile of towels with kibbles hiding all throughout them or even a big box with paper inside and kibbles. Check out how many funs I had and thinkings I had to do to get the kibbles out of this box the other day:

Enjoy your indoor adventures!

XO, Doodlebug

Dear Doodlebug, My mom has been on this thing called a sabbatical for the past several months, which was great because we got to hang out a lot more than usual. Now, although I have separation anxiety, mom gives me a few toys stuffed with food (kibble, apples, pumpkin, yum) around the house, and I am good. I am afraid that my mom is going to have the worse separation anxiety when she has to leave me more often now. What can I do to keep my human’s separation anxiety at a minimum (I don’t think her colleagues will like if she chews their books like I used to do)?  Signed, Concerned Canine

Dear Concerned,

Well aren’t you full of thoughts for your mama, worrying about her being separationally anxious about you when she goes back to the Workplace to stare at a glowing rectangle all day! Here are a few things you can do to help her not be so anxiousful. First, make sure she brings lots of snacks to chew on so she doesn’t chew on her colleagues’ books. Second, maybe you can pack her a giant paper box full of paper and kibbles to work on when she starts to feel worried? Would it fit in her car? Third, tell her that she can take Rescue Remedy. Many people give it to their dogs to help with the anxieties, but people can take it too! Mama’s boss swears by it. May be worth a try! And fourth, if she has an iPhone and a computer with a camera in it (most macs do and many PCs), she can download an app to her computer and phone that makes her computer into a webcam that she can watch on her iPhone! My mama and dad did this when I was new and doing my magical crate-destruction-and-escapism-routine, and also the first few times they left me and my brother alone together. It helped make them feel better knowing they could always check in and see what I was doing at any moment. And know what? Most of the time I was just stone cold sleeping!

All my love, Doodlebug

Dear Friends,

I am beside myself with excitement about my first block blog party advices column today! I have many advices to offer you, but first, mama, Chick and I agreed that we have to have a little bow-wow about something. Many of you dear friends of mine sent me she-mails asking for advices on behavioral issues you are having. I would super very much love to help you with your behaviors (and your dogs’ behaviors), but I am not able.

Wanna know why?

Contrary to what many humans think, we dogs communicate many many informations through our body language. We do it all day long. And we are complex animals with nuanced motivations, feelings, and behaviors. The problem is, many of our persons see us performing a behavior and assume that they understand all of the factors involved. But they are often wrong. Seasoned (and I don’t mean yummy and covered in duck fat and oregano) dog trainers with a focus on behavior issues can deconstruct a behavior by observing us dogs in person — they often see things that our people can’t see. And so offering advices on the interwebs is dangerous. Not only would I be going only on the information that your person provided me (which may or may not be all of it), but I also would not be observing on my own. Oh, and there’s the little issue of me not actually being a dog trainer myself, but only a dog. And even my mama, she is very new to learning how to be a dog trainer and is in no way ready to give advices on your complex behaviors.

So if you are having troubles with barking, growling, hiding, getting over-excited, or general misbehavement, do yourself a favor and ask your person to find a reputable, experienced dog trainer and meet them face-to-face to talk about your troubles. It will be worth the investment. Next week I will give you my advices on how to find a trainer, so stay tuned!

Now, on to this week’s questions!

What fruits and vegetables can dogs eat? Which ones can’t they eat, and why? -Michele & Karley

But if you insist on feeding your dog fruits and vegetables (which my mama does, and honestly, when I get a whole pile of broccoli in my bowl with my kibbles, I always eat all the broccoli first and then the kibbles!), here are some guidelines:

Dear Aeryn,

I am no dogtor, but here is what I do know about pig ears. They are downright delicious. But also, they have a very high fat content, which makes them maybe not the best treat for every day. Mama and I don’t know much about whether they are treated with icky chemicals (like rawhides are) or anything like that, but the fat can be hard on a dog’s system, turn you into a tele-tubby, and possibly — from what we’ve heard — cause troubles with your pancreas (whatever that is!). If your mama is looking for an alternative treat, tell her to think about hollow bones stuffed with canned dog foods and frozen. These are yummy and nutritious, and your people can reuse the bones over and over again!

XO, Your Foodie Friend the ‘Bug 

I noticed the pups’ beautiful Sirius Republic collars and wanted to purchase one for my very own Honey Bear (Rose). I was wondering which style you prefer and why? I seem to be leaning towards the Limited Slip but wanted to get your opinion. Thank you so much, Jamie

Dear Honey Bear,

What a great question! Tell your mama that she should get not just one beautiful collar, but several. Don’t you need one to match every season at least? And what about holidays? I personally wouldn’t be caught dead without my special patriotic Sirius Republic collar for Texas Independence Day!

As for style, we like the Limited Slip (also called a “Martingale collar”) variety and use it every day for our walks. Here’s what makes it so great: properly fitted, it will tighten around a dog’s neck enough to prevent you from slipping out of it if  you’re startled or just trying to get outta there, but will not tighten so much that it chokes you. Also, it’s a nice flat fabric collar so it doesn’t put any pokey things in your neck. And it’s super stylish to boot! 

At the training center where mama, Chick and I work, we actually require that all dogs come to class in a Martingale collar or a properly fitted harness. That’s how important we think they are!

Let me know if you need help picking out your fabric, width, and size, mmkay?

XO, Doodlebug the Fashionista

Deer Doodlebug, What is you thinks ’bout dogs wearin’ stuff like glasses and ties and swetters and stuff? I don’t likes it, but it looks like you do. Da hoomins likes it, so can you helps me tell dem dat I would preffers to be nekkid? Kisses and butt sniffs, Mushroom

Dear ‘Shroom,

You not liking to wear glasses and ties and sweaters just means that your person didn’t introduce them right! Whenever our mama surprises us with a new outfit or accessory, she lets us meet it very slowly. We have a long courtship involving some coyness, lots of sniffing, and many treats. Before you know it, we’re fast friends!  But I guess not every dog has to like dressing up — what makes us most special is that we’re all different, right?

XO, Your Clothes Horse Bug

Well that’s all the space we have for this week, friends. My brains hurt from using all of their clevers! If I didn’t get to your question this week, I will do my best to get to it next week. If it’s about a behavioral problem though, all I can do is try to help your person find a good trainer, which is better than my advices anyway.

Please keep the questions coming by pee-mail at info [at] loveandaleash [dot] com. I can’t wait for your correspondences!

XO, Doodlebug the Very Clever Dog

Last week my sweet, sweet brother the Chicken gave me the most glorious I-Am-Saved-A-Versary surprise — he gave promises of my very own regular block party blog party! I was like, Whoa Chick, you should not have have! (Even though in the realities, he really should have. Did you know that for a hundred bazillion years he has already had his own weekly block blog party? And if you knew, why didn’t anybody tell me??)

Probably it’s because I have so many clevers, but my sweet sweet brother decided to gift me my very own advices column! (For a minute I was most flummoxed — but only for a minute because after a minute it became so very clear). He thought that his ‘Bug (that’s me, by the ways) would be a good advices-giver since I am a Canine Good Citizen, I have much much dogtor-experiencement, I have played many many sports, I have passed his mandatory one-year trial of adoptedness, I enjoy a fine scotch, and I love to read. Boy am I well rounded (and I don’t mean fat!).

So starting next week, my interwebs family, I will be offering you my very best advices. As you can see, I am very well-read. So I can give you my best advices about all kinds of things — from dog things, to what to buy your dad for Texas Independence Day, to what is the most efficientest way to tie a butterfly knot, to which charity you should donate your green papers to. And here’s the best part: my advices will be absolutely FREE!

So please send your questions to my mama. You can leave them in comments on this block blog party, or you can she-mail them to my mama at info [at] loveandaleash [dot] com. Just make sure you put “Dear Doodlebug” in the subject lines so that we know that your mails are for me, ok?

See you and your burning questions next week!

XO, the ‘Bug